A lost boy
by ourheroregina
Summary: Summary: What, if after the king's death Regina finds out that she's pregnant? And what happens when she gives her baby away but then starts regretting it? Outlaw Queen! Regal Believer! Dimples Queen! A little bit of Swan Queen friendship!
1. Chapter 1

What, if after the king's death Regina finds out that she's pregnant? And what happens, when she gives the baby away but then starts regretting it? Outlaw Queen! Regal Believer! Dimples Queen! A little bit of Swan Queen friendship!

She's staring at her reflection in the huge mirror and although it's obviously visible, she still doesn't believe it. She turns to the other side and stares at herself again but the mirror still shows the same – she has a bump, not huge but visible.

How hasn't she seen it before?

Well, perhaps she's seen it, but she chose to ignore it?

Regina shakes her head to herself. It can't be happening. Not after everything is going just the way she wanted – the King is dead, Snow White is out of the castle in the woods, where catching her isn't a hard thing to do. She is finally getting closer to her happiness but now this.

She walks back and forth in her bedchambers, breathing heavily, trying to stop the anxiety. Maleficent should be wrong (she was the one who pointed out that Regina is pregnant), perhaps it's just dress, or maybe she's just got fat, but she definitely can't be pregnant.

Suddenly she collapses on the floor as tears fill her eyes – of course she can be pregnant and of course the child is King's. That's the worst part.

She thinks about all options of this situations: she could drink a potion and it would be over but even though she's pure evil now, she couldn't kill a child, no matter what happens she would never do that; also she could keep the baby but it would always remind her of the King, at the same time, it would be her weakness, her enemies – Mother for example – would definitely find a way how to use it against her.

She realizes that she doesn't have another choice just to give the baby away once it's born, no matter how much it may hurt her.

For a moment, she stays like that: vulnerable and broken, letting herself realize that her life is messed up a lot, too much perhaps, but then something inside her clicks and the Evil Queen is back.

She stands up and wipes away tears from her cheeks. Her eyes, which just a few moments ago showed how broken she really is, now are dark and giving nothing away. She's emotionless.

That's what she's learned over her not-so-long life – if you want to achieve something, you have to be emotionless and do everything it takes. And no one could deny that she's the best when it comes to ignoring the feelings.

It's a dark, stormy night. The windstorm has been ragging all day and even now the rain and thunder can be still heard, loud and frightening.

And with every thunder, there is a scream, a scream which comes from the Evil Queen. It's the night when the time has come – the baby has to be born. And it's been already several hours when she's tormented trying to give birth to her child.

Thankfully, she isn't alone. No matter, how much she hates people, at this moment she's glad that there's someone with her, holding her hand. And of course that person is her father, the one and only who knows about her pregnancy, despite Maleficent.

It takes all Regina's strength but finally, after a few hours of torture, the child is born. The baby lets a sharp cry and Henry sighs with relief, throes are finished.

Regina collapses back on the bed exhausted and closes her eyes tightly as the baby continues to cry. She should probably look at the baby, hold him or her or do something what a mother should do, but all she can do is lay there lifelessly because she knows that once she looks at the baby she can change her mind and then it would ruin everything.

"Regina," Her father is pleading her, holding a tiny baby wrapped in a blue blanket in his arms, but she doesn't listen, she keeps shaking her head. "You should keep him, just look at h-"

It's a boy.

Regina doesn't hear what her father is saying anymore, all she can think is that it's boy. She has a son, a beautiful little boy who deserves someone better than she; she has to give him his best chance.

"Reg-"Her father puts his hand on her shoulder and calls her name but before he can finish, she cuts him off.

"Get it out of here, I don't want to see _it,"_ She hisses the words out making her father shake his head at her.

But her father knows that it's better not to try her patience, so he just nods, looks at her one more time, in case she changes her mind, but she turns away, so with one last sigh he rushes out of the room with a new-born baby in his arms.

Once her father is out of the door and she's all alone, she lets a few tears leave her eyes. No matter what she is or how dark her heart is, if the situation wouldn't be that bad, she would keep the child. She would love him, her boy, with all her heart but she has no choice.

In this land, she can't let herself have that.

When her father comes back after a few hours and she is already dressed her black dress again as if nothing has happened, she asks him about the person who took the boy. And he gladly tells her everything, every single detail, because he knows that one day she will want to find him, he doesn't know how much time it takes, but she will come to her senses, he's sure of that.

But Regina shakes her head at that.

She gave the baby his best chance and she will never regret it or search him, she promises herself, she will never ever regret what she has done.

But eventually, she starts regretting it.

At first she thinks that it's just loneliness that makes her think about the baby because she's in another land now, where are no black knights, who did whatever she desired, she isn't planning a murdered anymore, and sadly, no one cares about her, so she feels lonely.

Days pass and she thinks more and more about the way her life could've turned if she kept the baby. She thinks about it and sometimes a single tear runs down her pink cheek but then she fakes a smile – even when she's all alone by herself she fakes smiles – and turns her thoughts to other things.

But one day, she can't push these thoughts away. She spent a long day in the office, doing town work but somehow all her thoughts were about other things. She was thinking about her past, about things she had done and the only thing she regrets.

So when she walks out of the office, she doesn't go the usual way which leads to her home. She heads through the dark Storybrooke to her vault.

When she reaches her destination, she looks around herself to make sure that no one is following her and then she unlocks her vault door and walks in. Once she's inside, she locks it, in case someone did follow her.

She throws her purse on the floor and then rushes to the lockers, where she's keeping everything she's brought from the Enchanted Forest. She feels the need to read her dairy, she needs to remember what she had written about her baby all those years ago, because perhaps the curse brought him here and maybe he's here, in Storybrooke. Maybe she can find him…

She finds her dairy quickly and then turns pages until she finds what she was looking for. She sits down and starts reading, but there are no names, nothing, just the story how her Father gave her son away, the story she's painfully aware of.

Tears fill her eyes but she fights them back because it was her decision, she made it to protect her son, it's for the best, but somehow she feels a hole in her heart. She feels something what she's never felt before and it scares her every single day.

Suddenly sadness surround her and she closes her eyes as if to push it away, to stop it from getting into her head but it's useless, but she tries to keep her breathing steady, tries to keep herself calm and sane even when those thoughts kills her from the inside.

But then, as lighting from a clear sky, an idea hits her.

She could adopt the baby. Of course, it wouldn't be the same, the pain would be still there, but perhaps it wouldn't hurt that much… Perhaps she wouldn't feel so lonely anymore.

A smile spreads across her face as she closes her diary, puts it back in the drawers and locks it and then she's running –actually running – to her house.

She needs to adopt a baby as soon as possible.

Regina has called to every adoption agencies around the town and unfortunately, none of them could help. Annoyed and irritated, she finally decides to ask for help from Mr Gold.

And thanks to him, after a few days Regina has a child in her arms. She's holding a small, innocent baby boy in her arms and suddenly the tears fill her eyes.

This whole baby thing has made her an emotional mess.

She looks down to the baby and fighting back the tears, she smiles because she could've been holding her child like that, if she didn't give it away, but now the life has given her another chance and here's no time for regret. The past is the past and she's leaving it behind, she has to concentrate on the present now because she has someone who needs her as much as she needs him.

She promises to herself that she will give him, this baby named Henry, everything, he will be the happiest child because she will do everything for him; she will do everything what she hadn't done for her own son.

"We're going to be very happy together, yes?" She says in a soft voice – it's still new to her too, this completely new soft side of her - as she puts the baby into the blue crib and he answers with a small yawn making her smile again.

When the baby finally falls asleep, she doesn't leave the room. She curls in the armchair and watches him, she does it every single night because one part of her still can't believe that this baby is real. She can't believe that she's really gotten another chance for happiness.

Eventually, she ruins everything one more time. And now she's watching as her son Henry, who is already eleven years old, walks away with his birth mother because Regina's failed again.

Just a few hours ago Emma broke the curse and now everybody knows the truth, they know that she's the Evil Queen, the one and only who caused them all this pain.

And suddenly, she doesn't even know why, she remembers every time Henry has told her she isn't his mother, she remembers every time he said he hates her, she remembers every time he ran away and it breaks her heart even more now.

She wanted the best for him but look what she's got.

As always, in the end of the day, she's the one hurt.

Her heart breaks into million pieces when she no longer can see Henry. But, of course, she doesn't blame him for leaving her, she did a huge mistake, she knows that, but still, the feeling that her second chance of happiness just walked out of her life, makes her a mess.

She's trying to sort out everything she's done wrong, she tries to be a better person and slowly, step by step, day by day, her relationship with Henry grows. He doesn't push her away anymore, he's still cold but not as cold as before and that's a huge achievement. She thought that perhaps they will find the peace together.

But then, as always, something has to happen and things are ruined again.

And things turn upside down when she returns to the Enchanted Forest without Henry. Everyone else is worried about the wicked witch, about the castle and how to survive this assault while the only thing in Regina's head is Henry. Things were getting better, she even felt a little bit of happiness that one moment, one second, and then she was thrown into this stupid world again. And she's stuck here with two idiots and countless people that probably want to kill her.

If she could, she would've cursed another dark curse without a thought, just to come back to her little prince, but her true love is in the other world with no memory of her, and she can't do that, she could never do it to Henry, never.

And now, when everyone is talking about the plan how to catch the wicked witch, Regina's eyes are focused on a small boy running in front of her while her thoughts are far away. His brown hair is all over his face as he laughs and cries out when one of their new fellow travellers catches him.

"Regina?" Suddenly someone calls her name and she finally turns her attention to Charmings who are glaring at her. "You should be listening," David sort of disciplines her but once Regina sends him a dead glare, he is turning back and talking with other's as if nothing has happened.

Regina turns back and continues to look at the running boy as her thoughts once again wanders to the darkest parts of her head. Her heart aches and she has to close her eyes if she doesn't want to cry in front of many people who would be more than happy to see the queen broken.

But she's not sure, if she can take it, if she can live without Henry.

Angrily she pushes herself up from the ground (they are sitting in a campsite, on the grass like some savages) and then quickly walks away before anyone can see her and stop her. Tears start running down her cheeks no matter how much she tries to stop it. She's still a Queen, not the same Evil Queen she was years ago, not the one people used to see and fear, and now her soft side takes control of her emotions more often than she would like.

Once she's sure no one can see or hear her, she lets a quiet sob escape her lips as tears finally stream down her cheeks freely.

She doesn't even feel how she sinks down on the grass and pulls her knees up to her chest, rocking herself back and forth a little. She tries to calm herself down, she really does, but unfortunately her mind is a mess, and she's not able to stop it.

Even the strongest break sometimes.

Suddenly she feels someone touching her – a touch's so soft, like a feather – but her eyes open widely, angrily. She mentally curses herself from letting someone see her like that, vulnerable and broken, but as soon as she sees a little hand resting on her shoulder, all her anger fades away.

She turns her head to the side, so she can see who it is, and, of course, it's that little brown haired boy, who just a few moments ago was running around with one of his father's friends. But now he's looking at her with little eyes wide opened, he looks almost scared when he meets her eyes but he doesn't move his hand even an inch. He's trying to comfort her.

"Don't be sad," The boy finally whispers, lifting his other hand to her cheek and wiping away a tear which is running down her face.

Regina's heart skips a beat but then aches even more: the boy isn't older than four years old but he's so mature, he's comforting an unknown woman, a scary one, who doesn't deserve it at all.

His father has really taught him well.

"Thank you," Regina mutters after a while because she wants to say something to him but nothing seems appropriate.

The boy, his name is Roland, if she's heard correctly, sits down on the ground beside her, crossing his legs. He then takes Regina's hand and gives it a gentle squeeze and the Queen can't help but let a small smile form on her face because it's a really nice thing to do, he's too mature for his age.

"Papa always holds my hand or hugs me when I cry but not everyone likes hugs, so I'll hold your hand," Roland explains as he looks straight into Regina's dark eyes.

She should have told him to walk away, she should have told him his papa wouldn't be happy that he's spending time with the Evil Queen but instead she keeps her mouth shut because at the moment, comfort is what she needs the most.

"I like hugs," Regina says quietly after a while.

Roland reaction is quick – he moves closer to her and then his little arms are wrapped around her slim waist, his head rested against her chest.

"I like hugs, too,"

Within a short time Regina and Roland became very close to each other. Regina likes to spend time with the boy; she likes when he's around playing and joking or just talking nonsense. It makes her heart warm with love, it distracts her thoughts from Henry and her lost boy.

But Roland isn't the only one who got close to the Queen. His father, Robin of Lockley, has quite good relationship with Regina as well. They tease each other when people are around, but when they are alone, they both show completely different sides of each other.

Almost every night they have a heart-to-heart conversation. They talk about their past, sometimes Regina tells him about Henry, sometimes they cry, sometimes Robin talks about his lost wife, or sometimes they just sit in silence because they need it. They understand each other so much.

And this night is no exception. After Roland has fallen asleep in Regina's bed during story time, Robin and Regina are sitting in the balcony of her bedchambers drinking wine together. Tonight is Robin's night to share a story, so Regina doesn't have to think, she just relaxes and listens to him.

"I don't know what to tell you anymore," Robin shrugs after a while of silence and Regina laughs quietly. He smiles at her but then the smile disappears, he closes his eyes as if he's in pain, as if he remembers something what hurts him so much, "Well, I haven't told you one thing but it's very personal and you can't tell it to anyone,"

"Oh, come on, Robin, as if I have friends and all we do is gossip," She rolls her eyes but when she sees his serious expression, she promises not to tell anyone.

He looks at her for a moment, just stares into her eyes not saying anything, enjoying their silence but then, with an inhale, he says quietly, "Roland is not my biological son,"

Regina gasps – actually gasps – because it's something what she hasn't expected.

Robin nods his head at her, takes a deep breath and continues, "Roland doesn't know that and I wish he would never find out because his little heart would be broken then,"

Regina closes her eyes for a moment as unwanted thoughts about her own baby, the one she gave away, come back into her head. Roland was given away just like her baby, and Roland really got his best chance with Robin, so perhaps her son was also that lucky and got someone like Robin to be his father.

She doesn't even feel when a few tears run down her cheeks as she stares nowhere, drowned in her thoughts, but then Robin rests his hand on hers and she snaps out of her thoughts. She finally turns to him, her eyes wide and full of… sadness.

"Are you okay?" Robin asks then, although she should be the one asking this, it's his story after all, and she nods her head quickly wiping away the tears from her cheeks.

"I just can't understand how someone could give away a boy like Roland," She lies because she can't tell him the truth. No matter how much she's told him about her childhood, about her marriage with King, about the things she's done when she was the Evil Queen, she can't told him about the baby.

Robin nods his head and moves closer until he's close enough to wrap his arm around her and pull her closer. She feels that it's hard for him to talk about it, so she doesn't push, she doesn't ask anything, she just rests her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes, listening to his heartbeat.

One night, when they are back from the Enchanted Forest and got their memories back, when things seem to be quite good, Regina lets herself have some fun. So that one day she and Robin, her now friend or boyfriend – she doesn't know it herself yet – go to the park of Storybrooke to spend some time together.

And after a very pleasant evening, they're back at her home. They are laying on her couch in the living room, side by side, talking about every kind of nonsense and laughing at themselves until they're too tired and lazy to get up. So that one night, Robin stays.

It's the middle of the night when she starts shaking in her sleep, saying something what can't be understood and moving her hands in the air as if to protect something or someone from something bad. That's the moment when Robin wakes up. He immediately sits up and looks at her with wide confused eyes until he realizes that she's dreaming.

He recovers quickly and starts shaking her slowly, not wanting to scare her even more.

Her eyes open widely as she sits up in the bed, looks around the room still shaking from her nightmare, still sleepy. But then her scared eyes find Robin's and she collapses back on the bed, exhaling with relief, her hand falls on her chest as she takes a deep breath in, trying to calm herself down.

But the tears are running down her cheeks already, and it breaks Robin's heart, so he slowly wraps his arms around her, and when she doesn't push him away, he hugs her tightly, pressing her to his chest and murmuring that everything is alright, that she's safe with him.

It takes a while until she finally calms down but once she's not crying anymore, she pushes Robin away and rushes from the couch to the bathroom without saying a single word to him.

The bathroom door close shut as she presses her back against it and curses herself for everything. She knew she would have a nightmare (she has a lot nightmares since they got from the Enchanted Forest and all her dreams are about the baby she gave away, she sees people hurting him, haunting him, sometimes killing him and she can do nothing, she's just watching it) but she let him stay anyway.

And as much as she would want Robin not to care about it, he does and it doesn't take a minute until he's standing outside the door and calling her name, asking if she's okay.

She inhales, exhales, inhales again until she's calm and then opens the door of the bathroom. She finds Robin with a worried expression on his face, and she can't help but curse herself again. He's such a good man and she's going to scare him away with all her demons.

But he's still there.

"Are you okay?" He asks gently and she gives him a small nod.

"We should go back to sleep," It's all she says before takes his hands and leads him back to the living room.

After a moment, they are in their previous position, side by side, with a soft blanket over their bodies. Robin wraps his arm around Regina's shoulders and she moves closer to him. She hadn't been so close with anyone, close not just physically but emotionally as well, and she's not surprised at all when he asks if she would like to talk about it.

She answers with a shake of her head. She's not ready to tell him it yet, perhaps she will never be. And she opens her mouth to say that it's hard for her to talk about her nightmares, but he shushes her with a soft kiss on the lips.

"You don't have so say anything. Just know that if you want to talk, I'm here to listen,"

She can't be more grateful for his words; a small smile spreads across her face as she closes her eyes and drifts off back to sleep.

Regina and Robin walk into the house, hand in hand, laughing at every kind of nonsense. They had another evening out, a diner at Granny's first, then a walk around quiet Storybrooke and then he escorted her home just as he promised to Henry.

They walk further into the house until Regina sees Henry's bag on the floor and rolls her eyes. She opens her mouth to discipline him but then stops herself because she remembers that it's Henry's week at Emma's. So what is he going here?

She immediately thinks the worst, that some kind of evil is trying to ruin their short peaceful time again, but then she sees Henry walk from the kitchen, and he doesn't look scared or hurt. She smiles to him in relief but he doesn't return a smile and it has her slipping her hand away from Robin's and walking closer to Henry.

"Are you okay?"

"We need to talk," It's all Henry says before he turns on his heel and walks back to the kitchen.

She feels dumbfounded. She hasn't seen him like that since they came back from Neverland, since they got back on good terms, and it scares her that perhaps she has done something wrong again and it hurt him in any way.

"You go to the living room, we will join you in a moment," She says to Robin before rushing to the kitchen.

When she walks into the room, she sees black notebook placed on it, it's her diary, she recognises. She looks at Henry, who's now sitting on the chair beside the table, with wide eyes because she doesn't understand. Why does he have her diary?

"I cleaned your vault and I found it," Henry finally breaks the silence, explaining, "I'm sorry, it just dropped and opened and there was written a word baby and I… I read it," He is obviously ashamed but he's found the strength to tell her that no matter how mad she can get.

Words fail Regina as she stares at Henry, not knowing what to say. Of course, she could say it isn't true but she doesn't want to lie to him anymore. Their relationship has just started to grow and a while ago he's asked her to trust him, has told her that he isn't a small boy anymore, and she promised she would never lie to him again.

But perhaps he hasn't read about the baby, perhaps it was something else because she wrote about a lot of things.

But then she realizes that she has to tell Henry anyway. Perhaps not now, but if he didn't find out about it, eventually, she will have to tell him it.

"Mom?" Henry prompts as Regina stays silent for too long. "Is it true?"

"What is true?" She asks and her legs go weak; she has to sit down as well.

"That you had a baby,"

Regina closes her eyes for a moment, takes a deep breath in, then out, and then in again trying to calm herself. But then her eyes open and she moves her gaze up and looks at Henry, who's waiting patiently for her to be ready to speak.

"Yes."

Henry's eyes widen but he recovers quickly when Regina closes her eyes again and tears start running down her cheeks. She shouldn't be crying in front of her child, she knows that, she should be strong but she can't.

She hears the chair moving and then Henry's arms are wrapped tightly around her as he whispers, "Oh, mom," and holds her even tighter.

It takes a moment or two until she stops but she tries to do it as quickly as she can because she's a strong woman and crying shows weakness and she's anything but weak.

Henry pulls away from her and looks into her eyes, takes her hands and squeezes it gently.

"Let's find the boy, mom" He says hopefully making Regina let out a humourless chuckle.

"I made a decision a long time ago. I gave that child his best chance, just like Emma did to you, and I'm not going to ruin it," She shakes her head. "And it wouldn't be easy to find him. There have been two curses, perhaps he's not here, perhaps he hates me, or perhaps he's not even alive." She adds, quietly.

"No, mom," Henry shakes his head. His enthusiasm could convince her but this thing hurts her a little too much, she doesn't want to set her hopes too high because she knows that her child may have gotten a good life and she doesn't want to take it away from him. It's better if she stays away and does nothing.

"Drop it, Henry," She mutters, her voice strong but her eyes pleading. "Or at least drop it for now, I can't let Robin know it. Not yet. We can talk about it later…" Perhaps he would forget it or perhaps she will have time to find other excuses.

"Fine, but we'll talk about it," He doesn't give up and Regina has to give in. At least for now.

She nods her head in agreement and then Henry hugs her again. She closes her eyes for a moment but then he's pulling away from her.

"Were you going to tell me?" He is serious again.

"I don't know," She shrugs, "Probably not."

Henry nods his head in agreement; it's Regina, his mom, and he knows her quite well, so it's obvious she'd have never told him something like that. He's hurt but at the same time glad because at least she's not lying to him.

"I should go back to Emma," Henry says after a moment, a little unexpectedly.

"You don't want to stay?" The disappointment can be heard in her voice, she hoped that Henry would stay at her place for the night.

"I need to think about everything, and you're having Robin with you," He adds with a smirk and she rolls her eyes at him, letting a small smile form on her face.

"Well, can I at least drive you home?"

"No, mom, I'll be fine. Enjoy your evening," He hugs her one last time before grabbing his bag from the floor and rushing out of the house.

Regina stays in the kitchen for a while, just standing there emotionless. She should have disciplined him for reading her diary, then things could be completely different. If she would've done that, he would be mad, perhaps wouldn't even talk with her for a while, but at least he wouldn't know how evil she really is.

"Is everything alright, milady?" It's Robin who snaps her out of her thoughts.

She blinks for a few times but then turns around until she finds Robin standing in her kitchen, worried again.

"I heard how Henry left and then you didn't come. I got worried." He says making Regina smile a little, he's such a good man. "Is everything alright?"

Regina thinks about his question for a moment: everything is quite alright, well not actually but anyway, but the mood has died completely and she would really like to spend some time alone with her thoughts, she really needs to think.

"I'm not feeling very well," She confesses and walks closer to him, "I think we should meet other day, I won't be a good company right now,"

"Do you really not want to talk about it?" He asks concerned, his hand touching hers.

"Robin, I-"

"You can trust me," He cuts her off when she looks at him. Yes, she knows she can trust him but it's not something she wants him to know. Not yet anyway.

"I trust you." She kisses him on the lips but pulls away quickly. "But I think you should go,"

"Okay. See you tomorrow, then," He pulls her for a quick hug, kisses on top of her head and then in a minute he's out of the door.

The moment the door close, Regina's cheeks are covered in tears.

The other morning she's sitting in the kitchen and drinking her black and strong morning coffee, with her make-up on, with no sign on her sleepless night, when the door are unlocked and in a moment Henry is standing in the kitchen. To Regina's surprise, he's not alone. Emma's with him.

"What a good way to start a day," She says sarcastically looking at Emma.

Henry rolls his eyes at her, she's such a pain in the ass sometimes, and she scolds him but he ignores her look and sits down to the table. Emma does the same and then they're both looking at Regina.

She can't help but laugh, it's such a stupid scene.

"What are you two up to?" Regina finally asks and takes a sip of her coffee. "Another operation?"

"I told Emma about you," Henry says making his mom almost chock with her coffee. Her eyes widen as she stares at him in disbelief. He couldn't do that.

Anger raises but she controls it, clears her throat then, her expression comes back to neutral and she speaks quietly, "You shouldn't have told her. It was my secret."

"Mom, Emma finds people. She can find your s-"

Before the boy can finish his sentence Regina stands up and walks to the sink. She completely ignores him because she doesn't want to listen to him, it's nonsense. No one can find him. Or perhaps she doesn't really want to find him. She doesn't know it herself.

"Henry," She says calmly when she turns around and looks at her son and his other mother, "I know what Emma does. I know about operations and all that other stuff you two do and believe me, if I would want to find him, I would've done it already. But I don't want to, I don't need your help. The baby is gone. I gave it away and I can't be happier for that. I have you and it's all I need."

Henry looks at her shocked, but then says, "But we can –"

"You can't." This time her voice isn't gentle. She's getting angry and she wishes she could stop that because if Henry doesn't give up, it may cost a lot of plates and cups because she's going to crash them all. "I don't want to find him."

"Mom"

"NO" She shouts making both Henry and Emma jump from fear, you know, she was an Evil Queen once.

Regina looks at them, regretting her actions, but then shakes her head to herself and walks to the sink again. She pours herself a glass of water, drinks it and then turns back to her son and her friend who are sitting there quietly now, waiting for her to say something.

"I'm happy you want to help but I don't need it," She says, her voice soft and calm again. She sits back down to her previous place and looks at them again, "You two have to forget about this and not do anything about it. And if you two understood, I would like to spend some time alone," She adds.

Henry and Emma stand up almost immediately and then quickly walk out of the house with a quiet goodbye, leaving Regina alone once again.

Once the door closes behind them, she sighs and puts her head in her hands, closing her eyes tightly. She really does need some time alone, otherwise, she may go crazy.

A few weeks pass since the day Henry find out about Regina's biggest secret and of course nothing has changed. He obeyed his mom and never mentioned the baby again although Regina knows he's up to something because her diary has disappeared for a few times and he spends a lot of time with Emma, and they seem mysterious again.

But it doesn't bother Regina as long as they don't ask her anything, and she says quiet, doesn't ask them anything as well. But on the other hand, she realizes that if Henry found out about it and told Emma, someone else may find out too, so she finally decides to tell Robin because she doesn't want him finding out about it from someone else.

She finally decides to do it on their so called date although it's more like a heart-to-heart conversation, because they still do it, from time to time, they still tell stories like in the Enchanted Forest.

And now Robin and Regina are sitting on comfortable folding chair by the fire at Merry Men's camp site. The weather isn't the best, it's cold and windy, but neither of them seems to mind because they are together and it's all what matters.

Regina looks around the quiet camp site and smirks because it's quiet on purpose, she is sure. Robin has told her that the Merry Man are away hunting and Roland is with them but Regina is quite sure that Robin has asked to leave them alone for a while because after all, it's their some kind of date.

"So," Robin says as he finishes fixing the fire and leans back into his chair. He turns to his beautiful girlfriend -now girlfriend officially, he has asked her a week ago - who's sitting right beside him, with her arms wrapped tightly around herself. "Are you cold?" He asks and stretches his arm and Regina gladly moves closer into his embrace. Her eyes close instantly as she enjoys his warm.

"Not cold anymore," She looks up at him with a small smile playing on her lips. Robin smiles back and leans in to kiss her.

"Good," He mutters against her lips and then with one little peck pulls away from her.

Regina sighs as she looks at Robin again and finds him staring back at her. She tries to find strength and tell the story about the child, she's decided to do it, there's no turning back now, but suddenly all her courage is gone. She feels so small, so weak, vulnerable and it scares her more than she would like to admit.

"Tell me about Roland," She asks quietly. Perhaps it would make her braver… Perhaps if he opens up about something what hurts him, she'll find strength to do the same.

Robin looks away for a moment and Regina wants to say that it's okay if he doesn't want to talk about it but then he starts speaking, "Roland is my everything. He's my boy no matter what happens." His voice is full of love and adoration, "When Marian brought him home, I was scared and confused, actually I wanted to give him away but one look at him changed everything. She said that an old man gave the baby and asked her to take care of him. He was so tiny. And that blue blanket he was wrapped in, it fit him perfectly."

A blue blanket?

Regina's breathing stops for a second. Her son was wrapped in a blue blanket, she remembers it too well. And her son was given away by an old man, her father.

What, if Roland is her son?

No, no, it's crazy. It has to be a coincidence.

"Regina?" Robin's soft voice snaps her out of her thoughts and she looks at him confused but her eyes give away that she's scared of something. "Are you okay?" He asks.

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry," She nods her head. "It just… Do you have that blanket here?" She asks and Robin looks at her with confusion written all over his face for a moment, but then he nods his head. "Can you… Can you show it to me, please?"

Her voice shakes and she's grateful that he doesn't ask anything anymore. With a small nod he stands up and walks to his tent while Regina closes her eyes and starts playing with her fingers. Deep breaths, she reminds herself. One deep inhale, count to ten and exhale, and then one deep inhale again…

She's trying to calm herself down, to focus on her breathing but it's so hard right now. What, if Roland is her son? Of course, it would be crazy, but many crazy things have happened during her life.

No, no, of course Roland isn't her son, it would be too easy to find him.

But just in case… She needs to see that blanket so she's sure.

She feels Robin's presence near her, but she doesn't look up, she feels scared. But then Robin sits down on his chair again and no matter she wants it or not, her eyes catch a blanket in his hands and that's it.

Her eyes fill with tears as her whole body starts shaking. Her breathing stops. Her heart stops beating. She becomes as pale as a paper.

Even the world stops turning as well.

She stares at that blanket, the one and only, and of course it's her son's blanket, she could never be wrong about it.

And suddenly she isn't thinking clearly anymore.

Because she finally found him. She finally found her son.

And it's Roland. That cute brown-haired boy she adores so much is her son. How is it even possible?

She stretches her shaking hands and takes a blanket from Robin, who looks more than confused, and then presses it to her chest as a quiet sob leaves her mouth. She lets her eyes close, letting hot, fat tears run down her cheeks.

She finally found her son.

But then Robin is calling her name, he's grabbing her hand and shaking her but she can't answer, she can't hear what he's saying because everything in her head is screaming, burning and breaking. She really did find her son.

And it's reality.

She finally finds strength and looks up at Robin, who's staring at her, not understanding anything. She opens her mouth, wanting to explain what's happening but nothing comes out, she's speechless, the words are stuck in her throat.

Robin is worried, he's holding her hand tightly and saying something to her but her thoughts are too loud and she doesn't hear him. The only thing she knows is that she can't be here with him.

She has to run away.

Now.

So she waves her hand up in the air and disappears in a bubble of purple smoke.

Feedback is always appreciated! :)

Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I just wanted to say a huge thank you to every single one of you who read this fic! I was so surprised by the comments I got, God, I didn't even believe it was real. I thought no one would like it...

It was sopposed to be a one-shot but your comment motivated me to write more so here it is!

I'm so sorry it took me so long to post it. I've written this part months ago but I didn't think it was good enough to post, but finally I found the courage to share it with you! Hope you like it as much as you liked the first part!

Nice reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own OUaT!

A lost boy - Part two.

When the cloud of purple smoke fades away, Regina finds herself in her vault. And even though the tears are streaming down her face and she's a complete mess emotionally, she moves her hands up in the air and tries to lock the vault's door with magic – she doesn't want to see anyone and just magic can protect her – but it doesn't work.

She curses herself quietly– magic never works when she's emotional.

Groaning in desperation, she sinks down on the cold floor. Her hands clutch that blue blanket she's brought with herself from Robin's campsite as she feels more tears running down her cheeks. She presses the soft material to her chest and closes her eyes, taking a deep breath.

She found her son.

It seems surreal. It seems too easy to be true.

But it is really happening.

She pulls her knees up to her chest and starts rocking herself back and forth, back and forth while her thoughts are killing her from the inside. Her eyes fall shut as she tries to find strength in herself, she was the Evil Queen, she definitely can do better than weep here, but it's useless, everything is useless.

She cries and cries and cries until she's too exhausted to cry anymore. She tries to wipe away tears from her cheeks – she hates being like this – but her hands are shaking, her whole body is shaking too much, so she just lies down on the cold ground of the vault, curls into a ball, pressing that blue blanket to her chest once again, and then finally sleep and exhaustion drags her away from reality.

Someone is touching her, the touch soft and gentle, as if someone is trying to wake her up, but she can't open her eyes, she doesn't want to. So instead of facing that someone, she squeezes her eyes shut and wraps her arms tighter around herself. The ground is uncomfortable, very uncomfortable, but it's still better to lie here than to face reality.

She hopes that that someone will give up and leave her alone and she'll be able to drink a forgetting potion, a forgetting potion which will help to forget about her son. That's her plan.

And fortunately the touch disappears and she almost sighs in relief, thinks that that someone will really leave her alone but then there's a swish and the touch is back.

"I found her," She hears a familiar voice: it's Henry. Her sweet boy is here but he shouldn't. He shouldn't have found her here. He shouldn't see her like that. "She doesn't look injured but something definitely has happened to her… Yes, you call Robin and tell him that I found her, otherwise he may go crazy."

Robin.

She probably scared Robin to death yesterday. What is she going to tell him? She frowns at her thoughts because she doesn't want to think, she wants to sleep and never wake up again but then a chuckle echoes through the vault and yes, she forgot that Henry is still here.

He realized that she's not sleeping. He knows her too well.

She waits for a moment, hopes that he will leave her alone but the boy doesn't move a bit, he just strokes her cheek and with an exhale, she opens her eyes, unwillingly but opens anyway, and comes back to painful reality.

Once her eyes adjust to the light in the vault, Regina finds Henry sitting beside her on a cold ground, a small but sad smile on his face.

"You're such a bad actress," Henry announces trying to ease the mood, and Regina tries to smile, she really does, but fails. Henry's smile is immediately replaced by a frown as he gazes into her dark eyes. His hand lands on hers and squeezes it gently. "Mom, are you okay?" He asks, this time his voice is far from easy, it's worried and even scared.

She feels bad. He shouldn't be here right now, he shouldn't be worried about her like he is. He's a teenager, he should enjoy his youth, have some fun with his friends but here he is – worried about her, worried about Emma, worried about entire Storybrooke. He deserves better than this.

"Mom?" His gentle voice snaps her out of her thoughts and she blinks for a few times before she looks at him and tries to smile.

"I'm fine," Regina assures although she's far from fine but Henry doesn't have to know that. She's not ready to tell him the truth yet. She sits up slowly then and her head throbs so she closes her eyes for a moment, takes a deep breath. "You shouldn't be here," She opens her eyes again and tries to scold Henry but he isn't bothered by it at all.

"I have to be here because you're my mom and I care about you," He objects making Regina's heart skip a beat. In any other situation, she would just smile and say that she cares about him too, but now, when she's such an emotional mess, she can't help but feel tears filling her eyes again. But instead of letting Henry see her like that, she pulls him into a tight hug.

What would she do without him?

"Mom, we should get you home. Everyone is really worried about you," He says when they pull away from each other and Regina smiles at him, this time smile comes easier, and nods her head. Henry stands up first and then stretches his hand out for her making her shake her head at him, smiling.

He's such a good boy.

When they walk out of the vault, it's dark. She wonders how much time she spent there but then Henry starts talking about random things like computer games and Emma's magic trying to distract her.

And he's successful because from time to time she smiles but not because the things he's talking about are funny, no, she smiles because he knows her so well, he knows that it's better not to push her, not to ask about what happened.

After half an hour, they finally reach their home – they could have gone home so much faster but Regina enjoyed their walk, it kept her mind busy and she didn't think about sad things. It's Regina who stretches her arm to open the door but just before she has time to reach the handle, Henry grabs her hand, making her look at him, confusion written all over her face.

"Mom, someone was really worried about you," He starts making Regina sigh. Robin. "And he's here but if you don't want to see him, he can leave," He adds making Regina roll her eyes – when did he become so mature? – shake her head and then she bends the door handle, walking into the house.

Once she's inside she's met by a very worried Robin. Her eyes meet his and before she knows it she's in his embrace, his arms wrapped tightly and in a protecting way, as if he's trying to make sure that this time she won't disappear in a cloud of smoke.

"You scared me so much," He whispers into her hair, his arms tightening around her body.

Regina rests her head against Robin's chest and listens to his heartbeat which is slowly calming down, returning to its normal rhythm. She doesn't know what she's going to say to him, how she's going to explain everything to him – she haven't had time to think about it – but for now she shuts these thoughts and lets herself relax in his strong arms.

"I was so worried," He whispers again and kisses on top of her head several times. He pulls away from her a little then and puts his palms on her cheeks, makes her look straight into his blue eyes. "Are you okay?" He asks, his voice is still worried.

"Yes," She nods her head. "I'm sorry about before, I-"

"You don't have to explain me anything as long as you're okay," He cuts her off and she's so grateful that he, just like Henry, understands when it's better not to push her. "You should rest," He adds after a moment making her roll her eyes.

She wants to say that she slept a lot but sleep was restless, she would wake up screaming or shaking because the nightmares were torturing her, and realizes that she's really tired and sleep wouldn't be that bad.

"Okay," She agrees then, and leans over to kiss him on the lips. Robin widens his eyes at her – probably confused by her answer, she never listens to him – but then they hear Henry groaning, so Regina pulls away and before he has time to say something to her, she turns around and walks up the stairs to her bedroom.

To her surprise, Henry and Robin are walking behind her. It makes her roll her eyes even though they can't see it: she's not a fragile little thing, she's told them she's fine, but they are following her anyway.

Once they are standing in front of her bedroom, she turns around to say that she would like to have some privacy now but before she has a chance to speak, Henry announces, "Mom, your bed is not empty."

Her eyes widen instantly making Henry chuckle at her reaction. She turns to Robin, surprised and finds him grinning at her. Who could it be? She really hopes it's not Snow. She looks at Henry one more time but the boy just smiles and rolling her eyes – they're not giving her an answer - she turns around and finally opens the door of the bedroom and steps into the dark room.

Her breath is stuck in her throat as soon as she enters the room and her eyes focus on a tiny body in her bed, wrapped in white blankets.

Even though it's so dark in the room, she's one hundred percent sure that it's Roland.

"He was waiting for you but then he fell asleep," Robin explains quietly behind her and she nods her head, her eyes unable to leave the boy.

When the tears fill her eyes, she takes a deep inhale, tells herself to calm down; Robin and Henry don't need to know about the boy, she's not ready to tell them, not yet. She manages to stop tears from running down her cheeks, but her heart clenches anyway ignoring her brain because it's not just a boy she adores who's sleeping in her bed. It's her son.

Robin must sense how she tensed because his hand lands on her shoulder, making her look over the shoulder at him.

"I can take him, if you want to be alone," He suggests but Regina shakes her head – no, she really does want to be Roland, she really needs it right now.

"No, it's okay," She assures him.

"I'll sleep in my room and Robin will be in the living room, if you need us," Henry says making Regina roll her eyes for the millionth time this day. Don't they listen to her?

"I'm not sick, I'm fine, I told you," She scolds them but Henry just kisses her cheek, gives her a tight hug, nods to Robin and then he's out of the room. Regina sighs and looks at her soulmate who is still standing in front of her and once again he looks worried. She cannot help but shake her head, "Robin."

"I know, I know," He says, "You just scared me."

He takes a step closer and then stretches his hand out for her and when she takes her, he pulls her closer, wrapping her in his strong arms. She wants to push him away and tell him that she's fine but she understands that he needs it right now, needs to make sure that she's really here, so she rests her head against his chest and exhales.

"Okay, you need rest," He says after a long moment, pulling away from her. She opens her mouth to protest, to say that she's not a sick child, but Robin is already pushing her to the bed and then she finally gives in. There's no reason to fight Robin: when he wants to take care of someone, he always finds a way. It's better to just give in.

Regina lies on the bed as quietly as possible, trying not to wake a sleeping Roland and when she makes herself comfortable, Robin pulls a blanket over her and kisses on top of Roland's head, then pecks her lips, whispers a goodnight, and disappears from the room.

It's not a surprise that sleep doesn't come easily. She lays in bed and stares at Roland who's sleeping peacefully, who has no idea how much she's suffering because of him.

She decides to move closer and she does it as slowly as possible. When she's close enough, she wraps one arm around him loosely and even in his sleep Roland moves closer to her, cuddles into her side and murmurs something in his sleep.

The tears are in her eyes again but this time it's from happiness. It doesn't matter that Roland doesn't know who she really is to him, it doesn't matter that Robin's reaction may be bad when he finds out about it. All that matters is that she's finally holding her little baby in her arms.

And finally, after so long, she feels like everything is in its place, as if her heart and soul have finally calmed down.

After a few moments, her thoughts calm down and sleep drags her away.

That night nightmares don't come.

"Gina," She hears a voice in her sleep, a voice she knows too well, but she doesn't want to open her eyes, she doesn't want to wake up from this dream where Roland is with her. Her imagination decided to torture her for a bit, that's why she hears Roland's voice. It's the only explanation.

But while she keeps analyzing things, her eyes are being opened and even though she's still half-asleep, she manages to see Roland who's the one lifting her eyelids and looking at her with a huge, dimpled smile on his face.

It takes a moment until she understands that Roland is really here, with her.

And suddenly she's completely awake.

"You came back!" The boy squeals, clapping his little hands. Regina opens her eyes then and grins, warmth filling her head.

"Of course I came back," She smiles and pulls a very excited Roland into a hug, "I would never leave you alone for too long," She promises and suddenly tears are in her eyes again but she blinks them away quickly – she doesn't want Roland to see her crying, she doesn't want him to ask questions she cannot answer.

Roland pulls away and now his cute, dimpled smile is changed by a frown. He looks sad or angry, she can't tell.

God, she doesn't understand her own son…

"What's wrong, Roland?" She asks instead of torturing and blaming herself and sits up in the bed so she can see him better.

Roland stays quiet for a while, chewing his bottom lip but then he looks up from his hands at her. His eyes are full of tears and it doesn't take a moment until one big fat tear runs down his cheek. It makes Regina's heart clench – she hates to see him crying, even when she hadn't known he was she son, she still hated it – as she leans over and puts her hand on his.

"Papa told me that you disappeared and I thought I will never see you again," He manages to say before another big tear runs down his pink cheek. "I thought you left me just like my Mama did,"

He is not talking about her, she knows it, but somehow his words bring tears to her eyes. She quickly blinks them away. "Roland, I would never do that," She assures him, "I did disappear but I'm here now," She pulls him into another hug then and Roland wraps his arms tightly around her, rests his head on her chest. She sighs, another wave of emotions washing over her soul, and explains, "I was sad, and you know when you're sad sometimes you want to be alone, right?" When Roland nods his head, she continues, "That's why I disappeared but I promise you, I will never do it again."

Roland pulls away, looks at her with wide eyes for a moment or two. He doesn't believe her, she thinks, he's a little boy but he doesn't believe her.

But suddenly the teary frown on Roland's face is changed by a huge smile and he nods his head for a few times before he hugs Regina again and whispers into her ear as if it is some kind of a secret, "I love you, 'Gina."

She feels warmth in her heart, cannot help a grin which spreads across her face as she presses Roland tighter to her chest.

Perhaps she will never tell him the truth but it doesn't matter as long as he loves her the way he does now.

Regina is Regina.

She hasn't told anyone the truth. She hasn't told about it a single living soul because she isn't ready. She waited until the world will come crushing down on her because it seemed too easy, it felt so surreal and incredible. It couldn't be true. She couldn't find her son so easily without consequences.

But several weeks have passed and Regina got a chance to spent a lot of time with Robin and Roland and, to her surprise, nothing bad happened. Every day she thought that someone will try to destroy her happiness but day after day everything was good and she began thinking that perhaps she has finally found her happy ending.

The relationship between Regina and Robin is growing with every single day, they became even closer (if it's even possible) and finally she thinks she is ready to open up about the thing which hurts her the most. She is ready to show him her weakest and most damaged parts.

After hours of thinking, she decided to do it tonight. They are invited to Granny's, Snow and Charming are going to announce the name of the baby, and at first Regina was categorical – she told she will not go there, it is a bad idea, people hate her and she doesn't trust them as well, it would ruin the evening for Charmings – but Robin convinced her that she should really go (he kind of manipulated her because he told her he won't go without her).

So here they are, already on their way to Granny's, Roland is holding ice cream in one hand, his other hand is holding Regina's, and the Queen cannot help that wide smile that is formed on her face as they walk through quiet Storybrooke.

While it would appear that Regina is completely relaxed, deep down she is nervous, very nervous. She's going to tell Robin the truth, there is no reason to wait anymore. Oh, and let's not forget that it is Storybrooke, it's possible that tomorrow she wakes up with no memory of who she is or in the other world and she wants Robin to know the truth, if something bad happens, she wants to be sure that he knows everything.

So despite that little anxiety, she feels easy and happy.

But as soon as they walk into Granny's, everything comes crashing down (just like she thought it will) because Marian, Robin's beloved wife Marian, is back. And Roland calls her Mama. And suddenly that huge smile disappears from Regina's face.

It's too much.

Everything is too much.

So she waves her hand up in the air and just like a few months ago disappears in a cloud of purple smoke.

Everything has turned upside down since Marian's return. Regina didn't have a chance to talk with Robin after that, she hasn't had a chance to tell the damn truth about Roland and now she never will. Marian is back, she's alive and it means that the fact that Regina is Roland's mother doesn't mean anything anymore. He has one mom already, he doesn't need another.

She's okay with that.

Well, not really, but she will live. She will survive. As always.

The only thing that makes her move on is Henry. He's supporting her in every single step, he is there for her to keep her busy, to keep her mind busy. He is probably the only reason why she hasn't gone crazy yet.

This day started good, too good actually, and Henry even managed to drag her out of the house and go groceries shopping with him (at first she shook her head, told him that she's not hungry, he can always eat at Granny's or Emma's, they don't need food, but he had insisted and here they are.)

But it turns out to be, probably, the worst decision Henry has ever made because as soon as he and Regina walk into the shop, they bump into Robin and his family.

Regina's change is instant. Just a few moments before she was laughing and talking nonsense with Henry, but now she's standing with a stoned face, her body tensed.

"I'm sorry," Regina mutters after a moment of two, taking a step back. She doesn't look up at Robin, her eyes are focused on a little boy standing between Robin and his wife. The boy is looking at her as well but he's holding his Mama's hand, his real Mama's hand, and all Regina can do is smile, trying to keep herself together.

"You don't have to be sorry, we need watch where we are going," Robin assures her and she can feel that he wants to say something more, something what could make her feel better, what could give her hope but he stays quiet.

She blinks for a few times, inhales, exhales and when she opens her eyes, Roland isn't looking at her anymore. He's talking to a woman he calls his Mom now and it makes her heart clench, break into million pieces because she's his Mama.

But he doesn't know that.

And probably never will.

"It was good to see you," She says (lies) after a while of uncomfortable silence. It wasn't nice at all to see him, it was awful and if she could turn back the time, she would never come here.

Robin nods his head and then they are walking away. He and his perfect family.

The anger is building inside of her for no reason. She understands that he's not responsible that his wife came back, it's not his fault that years ago he married a woman he loved. But then Henry snaps her out of her thoughts, squeezes her hand lightly making her look at him.

"Mom, we can leave," She hears Henry say but she shakes her head. She is the Evil Queen, she's not running from anyone so she smiles at Henry and he gives her a look – he knows her fake smiles too well -but she gives him another smile, this time sad and pleading to let it go because she wants to stay strong, and he nods her head before walking to the fridge to get some milk.

Things were bad, very bad, but it becomes even worse when Robin leaves town with Marian. And Roland. Regina feels like her whole heart was ripped out of her chest and crushed because she didn't lose just her soulmate, she also lost her child. Again.

But Regina is a strong woman and once again she proves it to everyone because the next morning she is in her office again, working or at least trying to work (all her thought are focused on Robin and Roland). She acts like nothing has happened, she acts like it doesn't hurt her at all.

And it turns out that she is good actress, after all.

After an hour or two Regina drops a pen from her hand groaning and puts her head in her hands. She needs to concentrate, she has a lot of work, she can't let this town shatter just because its mayor is a little bit heartbroken.

But suddenly the office's door is opened widely and Regina groans one more time, it's probably Snow or Emma with their hope speeches and cheerful tones, and she doesn't want that, doesn't need that, so she mutters _go away_ but the person doesn't listen to her (who listens to her these days?), instead the steps draw near until that someone sits on the chair in front of her desk.

"I want to be a-" She starts, annoyed, but then she lifts her head up from her hands and it's not Emma nor Snow. It's Henry and he's smiling at her for no reason. Well, perhaps Charmings sent him here for a hope speech? "I'm sorry, I thought it is Snow or Emma or even Charming," She explains.

Henry nods his head in response and says cheerfully, "Well, it's me and I have amazing news for you."

"Is Robin back?" She asks but there's no enthusiasm in her voice because it's impossible.

"No, bu-"

"Then I am not interested," She says before Henry has a chance to finish his sentence.

"I found your son,"

For a moment Regina stops breathing. So she was right, Henry and Emma were really up to something. She knew they wouldn't give up. But now, what's the point? Roland is in another world and it won't even take a year until he forgets about her completely.

She feels anger and desperation filling her so she takes a deep inhale, trying to calm down. She's not going to shout nor cry in front of her son, no way.

It takes a few inhales and exhales but she feels calmer, she finally is ready to look up at Henry without being afraid of breaking down.

"You are my son," She states and stands up from the chair, sends him one of her looks which means that she doesn't want to talk about it or about anything at all but Henry is Henry, he inherited hope from his grandparents and he doesn't give up, not on her.

"Your son is-"

"It's Roland. I know," She cuts him off, her voice stern but not as angry as that other time when he tried to talk about her child. But it's enough to make Henry stop talking, he just stares at her and Regina knows that he has a lot of questions, questions she's not ready to answer, not now anyway. So with a sigh she sits back down at the chair – she doesn't even understand why she stood up, probably to calm her nerves a bit – forces a smile and says softly, "I don't want to talk about it. Thank you for doing this but now I would like to be alone for a while."

Henry doesn't leave instantly. He sits as if he hasn't hear what she said but Regina doesn't say anything, she just looks down at her papers, takes a pen and starts writing something down just to make Henry leave. She knows she shouldn't act like that, it hurts Henry, but she needs space, she needs it like air and she cannot help but feel relieved when Henry finally stands up, says that he will see her at home and walks out of her office.

Once the door is closed and Regina is alone, her cheeks are covered in tears.

She doesn't remember the last time she feared something that much. But now, when she found out that Marian is not Marian at all, that it's Zelena, she can't even think straight. Zelena wants to hurt her and everybody knows that and if accidentally the wicked witch finds out that Roland is Regina's son, there is no doubt what she would do.

And it takes just one day until she and Emma have gone on a road trip to find Lily and get Robin and Roland. The journey hasn't been easy (but what is easy for them?) , the stupid accident with Lily seemed bad enough but now the words that Zelena is pregnant echoes in her head over and over again and what happened before seems like a kid game.

Regina is sitting on the couch in Robin's - Neal's apartment, her whole body shaking from shock. And for the first time in years she's glad that she doesn't have magic because she would probably burn down the whole apartment and half of the town.

She feels angry and disappointed, sad and hopeless. It feels like the whole world fell apart in a minute but then she hears steps, one are heavy and other are light, small and easy and she immediately looks up.

They are back.

Robin and Roland are back.

Once they walk into the apartment and Robin closes the door behind himself, Roland frowns. He seems confused, looks around the room and his little frown deepens when he sees Lily and Emma. But then he turns to the side and his eyes widen in fear when he sees Zelena – he knows she's the wicked witch – and Regina can see how he squeezes Robin's hand but then finally he turns to her and his frown is gone. A huge grin spreads across his face as he lets go of his Papa's hand and runs towards her.

In a moment, he is in her arms. His little arms wrap around her neck tightly as she presses him closer to her chest. Her little knight is fine. He's still smiling and he's fine. Zelena hasn't hurt him.

"Oh, Roland," Regina exhales in relief when she's sure Roland is really okay.

" 'Gina, I missed you," The boy whispers, tightening his arms around her.

"I missed you too but now we're going home together and I won't leave you again, okay?" She says and Roland pulls away, looks at her with wide, teary eyes. She wipes away tears from his cheeks and kisses on top of his head. Roland nods his head several times then, hugs her one more time but then he looks around the room and asks where his Mama is.

Regina wants to tell him that his Mama is right here, with him, that she will never leave him again but instead she keeps quiet, and smiles at Emma who says that his Mama is in the car, already waiting for them to join her.

She has promised herself to tell Robin the truth as soon as she sees him but a few weeks have already passed and she hasn't told anything. She still isn't ready or maybe she doesn't trust him as much as she did before.

But since the day they're back in Storybrooke, back together (or at least trying to be together) Regina doesn't let Roland out of her sight. And she felt the way Robin looked at her for a few times, he obviously wanted to ask what was happening but stayed quiet and she is glad, very glad.

But one part of her knows that she has to tell the truth, sooner or later but she will have to do it. She cannot hide it forever.

One evening, when they are walking through the silent Storybrooke, hand in hand, when they have forgotten about everything around them, Regina decides to tell him the truth.

She trusts him again now, not as much as before but their relationship is slowly building again and he seems to trust her as well, and right now she feels so relaxed, everything is so calm. She decides that there's no reason to keep it a secret anymore.

So she takes a deep breath, trying to stay calm and says, "Robin?"

"Hmm? He hums in response and gives her hand a gentle squeeze.

Regina knows she has to tell him, and it's Robin, he will understand. But her body is betraying her mind and tenses and that bubble of anxiety is back in her chest and she starts thinking that maybe it will stay as a secret for a little while longer.

But then Robin gives her hand another squeeze making her snap out of her thoughts. She looks up at him then and finds him smiling a small, encouraging smile (he probably felt how she tensed). Regina tries to smile back but the smile is gone before it even appears on her face and she takes another deep breath.

Concentrate, Regina, concentrate.

"I haven't told you something about myself," She starts with an inhale. "And it may ruin everything between us."

"Well, you're wrong, Milady. Nothing is going to change my feelings for you, nothing can tear us apart," He states and Regina wants to let out a humourless laugh because she can already see his face when she tells him the truth.

"I have another child," She wastes no more time and lets the words slip out of her mouth.

"What?" Robin asks, obviously surprised. He pulls away a little so he can look at her but she's looking at their hands, so he puts a finger under her chin and lifts her head, makes her look at him. She finds him looking at her with a small, confused smile on his face.

Regina exhales, inhales, exhales again, tugs at his hand and walks them to the bench not far away. She sits down on it and Robin follows her immediately. He takes her hand, gives it a gentle squeeze and she wants to cry, she want to cry so badly and she hasn't even told him anything yet.

But she's a strong woman, she holds back her tears and looks up at him. Robin is not smiling anymore, now his face is decorated with a frown, his blue eyes wide and confused. He's waiting for her to be ready to talk but she cannot talk, she needs to memorize him like this, this love and caring side of him because she's pretty sure that once he knows the truth, he will want to do nothing with her.

"Regina?" He asks, squeezing her hand gently, bringing her back to reality.

She blinks for a few times, takes a deep shaky breath and whispers, "I have a biological child."

There's a silence after that. He can hear how Robin's breathing changes, how he tenses but at the same time he squeezes her hand one again, trying to comfort her.

"But I thought you can't-"

"The baby was born before the potion," She tells him. Her gaze drops to their still joined hands as she continues, "When I was married to the King, I got pregnant..." She has to pause, to take a deep breath because her emotions are all over the place and she is step away from breaking down. When she is ready to talk again, she continues, "Once the baby was born I gave him away – well, technically it was my father who gave him away. I was so afraid back then, Robin," She feels Robin squeezing her hand and just then she realizes that she's shaking.

"Regina, you don't have to tell me more," He assures her.

"No, I have to," She shakes her head hysterically and takes a deep inhale, "When you showed me that stupid blanket..." The words fail her. She closes her eyes, tells herself to calm down, to get a grip and tell Robin the truth but it's not helping, it just makes her shake a little bit more. But she finds strength in herself and whispers, "That blanket was my son's."

She looks up at him then and waits until Robin will shout or get angry but he stays still, does nothing. He sits there as if paralyzed. He doesn't ask anything, he just looks nowhere, not even blinking. She starts to wonder if he hasn't stopped breathing.

It is shock, Regina realizes. Well, not every day you find out that your girlfriend is you son's biological mother.

She is patient. She waits and waits and waits but Robin doesn't say anything. She tries to put her messy thoughts in place, tries to find something to say to comfort him but her head is empty and all she manages to do is whisper, "Robin, please, say something."

"It means that Roland is your-" He doesn't finish the sentence, shaking his head. He runs his hands through his hair nervously, inhales, exhales, inhales again and then finally turns and looks at her but his eyes, those eyes which just moments ago were shining with light and love, are empty and frightening.

Regina nods her head slowly and stretches her hand out to touch Robin but he moves away making her heart clench. She knew this would happen, she knew he would be shocked, she knew he would push her away.

"Robin," Her hand is trying to touch him again but before she has a chance to do it, Robin stands up from the bench and starts pacing back and forth, back and forth, running his hand through his hair. He is desperate, he is so desperate right now and she wants to hug him, she wants to comfort him because it's her fault, after all. But she pushes these feelings away and with an inhale says, "He is your son and I understand if you don't want me to be in his life. It's okay."

It seems like he didn't hear her because he doesn't say anything, he continues pacing and shaking his head to himself and it's enough for her.

This mess is too much.

The tears start running down her cheeks and she has to press her lips together to stop her sobs.

"I need to think," He finally says and then he's running away from her, actually running.

She wants to follow him, wants to run as well but she's not stupid, she understands that he needs space. And truth be told, she needs space too.

When she looks up again, he's already disappeared in the darkness.

Everyone has a breaking point. And so has Regina. But she's not the one who shows it.

So the next morning she is sitting at Granny's with Maleficent. There are drinks placed on the table in front of them and it's not typical Regina, she doesn't drink to drown the pain or forget, but this time is exception. This time she needs to do something, otherwise she may go crazy.

And what could be better than a drink with an old friend?

It's their second drink and usually Regina isn't the one who gets drunk easily but she is smiling and joking as if alcohol has its effect on her already.

And Maleficent sees those small, almost invisible tears in Regina's eye but she says nothing about it, she just laughs at the joke she hasn't heard because it's what Regina needs.

The Queen is in the middle of telling a story about her first days in this world when the bell above Granny's door jingles and someone walks in. But it doesn't stop Regina – she doesn't bother to look who's there, she just hopes that it's not Snow.

"Hi, mom," Suddenly Regina hears an unexpected voice behind herself which makes her stop completely. She exhales – she has been ignoring Henry, she didn't want him to see her like that, she thought it's better to push him away – and then slowly turns around to look at her son with wide eyes. "I thought you are missing again." Henry says, obviously worried.

"No, Henry, I'm not missing," She announces and points to the glass on the table. "I'm having fun with my friend and you should stop worrying about me and do the same."

"What happened?" Henry asks making Regina roll her eyes at him. She's not in the mood to listen to hope speeches; she just wants to forget about everything, so she turns to the table, takes a glass and drinks its liquid in one gulp, hoping that Henry will give up on her, get angry and leave. But he stays there, looking at her with wide eyes, "Mom, it's not okay, you know," He states, "We were worried about you."

"You don't have to be worried. I'm fine." She completely ignores his worried tone, "And I would like to have some time with my old friend, not talk about things which make me depressed," She adds and even though her voice is confident, Henry knows that she's not okay.

"You keep running from reality," Henry states but when Regina turns to him, he looks away. He is hurt, and she didn't want that, and he understands why she's going this. She needs time. So he turns around and walks to the doorway but stops before leaving, turns his head over his shoulder to look at her and says, "You will not find your happiness if you act like a child."

And then he's out of the door.

A quiet sigh escapes Regina as she turns back to Maleficent and fakes a smile. But Mal knows her well, just like Henry and Robin, so she doesn't return a smile. From the very beginning she knew that something was going on but she didn't think it was that serious.

"So, I was te-"

"Regina," Maleficent cuts her off, "What's wrong?"

"I don't understand what you're talking about."

"Oh, really?" Mal asks with a raised eyebrow, making Regina sigh.

"It's just-" Before she can finish her sentence, tears fill her eyes. And she doesn't like to cry in front of people, she hates it because she feels weak and vulnerable, but Maleficent is squeezing her hand and it's enough because the tears are rolling down Regina's cheeks.

Maleficent is a friend, a good friend, Regina trusts her, so she tells her everything.

And then she feels better. It's like a stone rolled down from her chest.

It turns out she doesn't need to drink to feel better. All she needs to do is talk.

A few weeks have passed but to Regina it feels like years. Weeks without Robin Hood and Roland by her side are awful, but she is a strong woman, she acts as if nothing has happened, she smiles and mocks everyone, she is sassy like never before but that's her way of dealing with the pain in her chest, that's her way of surviving.

The only person who knows how she's really feeling is Henry. Although she doesn't want him to know what's happening, he's the one who wakes her up from the nightmares, he's the one who sees her crying in the kitchen (and she always blames onions). It's wrong, it's entirely wrong because he shouldn't see her like that but he's her supporter now.

And today is a day like any other, Regina is making breakfast in the kitchen while Henry is sitting at the table and suggesting all kind of movies they should watch.

But suddenly there is a knock on the door which surprises both of them. Regina looks at Henry with a small frown – they weren't expecting anyone – and Henry just shrugs his shoulder, takes a sip of his already cold tea and jumps from the chair, says that he will open and runs to the door.

Regina sighs and turns back to the stove, groans when she sees that she has burned pancakes again – it's not the first time, Henry distracts her with his suggestions and she forgets what she's doing and well, it shows that she isn't herself yet, that something is still not right.

She hears Henry's steps and curses herself quietly – her son is going to be hungry again.

"Henry, I burned them a-" She turns around and finds that Henry is not alone. Robin Hood and Roland are standing beside him and it's enough for her to forget what she was saying. She blinks for a few times to make sure that they are really here, that it's not her imagination that wants to play with her.

"Good morning," Robin greets quietly.

"Hi," She answers and for a moment she looks at Robin but then her eyes drop to a very handsome boy standing next to his father. "Hi, Roland," She says quietly. It's enough for the boy because he realises his Papa's hand and runs towards her.

His little arms are wrapped around her neck as soon as he reaches her and Regina hugs him back immediately, presses his tiny body to herself.

God, she missed him so much, she hasn't even realized that.

"I missed you, 'Gina," The boy murmurs.

"I missed you too, Roland," She says back and opens her eyes – she hasn't realized when she closed them, probably the moment when Roland was in her embrace – and looks up at Robin, who's still standing beside Henry and looks straight into her eyes.

"Roland, why don't you go to play with Henry for a bit? I need to talk to Regina," Robin suggests, then turns to Henry and Henry responds with a nod of his head. Roland pulls away from Regina and smiles at her, showing her his dimples but then he turns around and runs to Henry.

Henry looks at Regina for a moment, his eyes asking if she's okay. He waits until she smiles a little, nods her head and just then takes Roland's hand and they both walk out of the room.

Once the boys leave, Regina sighs. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't want to keep Roland away from you," Robin shrugs and takes a step closer to her, as if wanting to come closer to her, to touch her, but then shakes his head to himself and sits down on the chair where minutes ago Henry was sitting. "And I missed you," After a beat he admits, quietly.

Regina cannot hide that she's surprised – she thought Robin would want to keep Roland away from her as far as possible, and of course he would want to do nothing with her –but she quickly recovers and sits down as well. Just then she realizes that she's wearing a nightgown and a robe, her hair is messy from sleeping and she has no make-up on.

She feels uncomfortable for a moment, wants to excuse herself and change her clothes or at least brush her hair, Robin shouldn't see her like that, no one should see her like that, but then Robin starts talking again, distracting her, "He's your son as well as mine. And I wanted to say sorry for reacting the way I did. But you have to understand me. The mess with Zelena, that accident in Author's story and then out of nowhere you announce that my son is your son and it's just..."

"Robin," She stretches her hand across the table until it reaches his. "I understand, you don't have to explain anything."

"I'm sorry, Regina."

"And so am I," She mutters and gives his hand a light squeeze. "I'm sorry that I destroyed everything between us. But if you are willing to give me another chance..." Her voice cracks and this time he's the one squeezing her hand.

"You did nothing." He assures her. "It just... It's destined for us, I guess." He shrugs, takes a deep breath. "But I love you, Regina Mills, I love you more than you can imagine and these things that happened between us made me realize that. You're everything to me. And I'm so sorry-"

She cannot believe her ears. He doesn't hate her. He doesn't want to push her away from his son. He wants to be with her.

Robin doesn't have to say anything anymore because Regina is standing up and walking to him. Her arms are wrapped around him in a moment, and she holds him so tight, she thinks he may struggle to breathe but she cannot help it. This unknown, this time without him was a misery, she didn't know what was going to happen and now he is here with her, his arms wrapped around her tiny form and finally, after so many hard hours, she can breathe easily.

"I love you," She whispers quietly, her head rested against his chest. It feels a good thing to say because she's wanted to say it for so long, she has waited too long.

His hold tightens around her and he whispers that he loves her too and that he's sorry, so sorry. "It's fine, Robin," She assures him, pulling away a bit.

There are small tears in the corner of her eyes but Robin is quick to wipe them away, to tell her that it's okay and then she's in his embrace again.

It takes a minute – minutes – until they're finally able to leave a kitchen without one of them ending up crying. They walk to the living room then, where Roland and Henry are playing video games, holding each other's hand, squeezing it from time to time.

Once they walk into the room, Henry turns over his shoulder with a worried expression on his face, afraid of what's going to happen if Robin has hurt her, afraid of how he's going to deal with another heartbreak but one look at the couple and a small smile forms on his face because he finds him Mom smiling, holding her soulmate's hand.

Regina and Robin walk further into the room and sit down on the couch beside boys. And the moment Regina makes herself comfortable on the couch, Roland moves closer to her, cuddles into her side and without even realizing it, the boy makes Regina's heart beat faster, it makes tears form in her eyes.

She glances at Robin for a moment, just to make sure that he's okay with that, and finds smiling, assuring her that it's completely fine. She then turns to Henry, who's smiling as well, he knows how much it means to her, how long she's waited for it.

Then the moment of happiness is over, Henry hands Robin a remote controller, gives another one to Regina, so they can join the game. Henry sets up a game and then the room is filled with laughs, shouts and squeals filled with happiness.

And in that moment, Regina understands that she's finally happy. She has Henry, she has Roland, she has Robin and it doesn't even matter that they haven't decided what they're going to do now, doesn't even matter that her sister is expecting her lover's child, it doesn't even matter that her heart has been broken too many times. All that matter is that after all this time her heart finally feels whole.

She's finally found her happy ending.


	3. Chapter 3

Written for a prompt: Regina tells Roland she is his mother

Roland has loved stories and fairytales from a very young age. He was barely two years old when Robin told him the first story about Snow White and her adventures and the Evil step-mother who hunted her. Since that day there hasn't been a night that went without a bedtime story.

So when Roland learned to read, he didn't want to let go of a book. Regina had found him reading in the garden one morning, then in his room, the living room, kitchen, one day she even found him sitting on the bathroom floor – he was supposed to be showering – with Harry Potter in his hands.

Regina found it amusing at first.

But one evening Roland's asked to read Henry's storybook, the one and only with stories of their lives and Regina's tensed immediately. That book is full of stories that Roland would adore, that's obvious, but there's also a story of Regina, and a story of Roland (the pages about them weren't there before, but the day Regina figured out the truth, it had somehow appeared there) which the boy doesn't need to know yet.

Regina's shaken her head then, words stuck in her mouth, but thankfully Robin was there and sensed her uneasiness. He told Roland that he needs to be older to read a book like that, and that he knows most of those stories anyway and there are still many other books in Henry's room that he hasn't read yet.

The boy didn't look too happy, he'd pouted for the rest on the night but soon everything was forgotten and he was reading another book of Harry Potter, fascinated by the world the wizard lives in.

Regina thought her secret was safe. And she was wrong.

Roland is a curious child, and he's a thief's son, he knows many thing about thieving, too many for his young age, so it wasn't that hard to sneak into Henry's room at night, take the book and return it in the morning without anyone noticing.

And no one noticed that Roland was reading that book.

But one night Regina's awaken by a loud crashing sound that makes her jump out of the bed immediately, looking around frantically, a spell already formed on her tongue. But the bedroom is empty, so she rushes towards Roland's room since there's no one else in the house.

She finds the boy standing in the middle of the room, his beautiful face covered in tears, the storybook thrown in front of him on the ground, a photo frame of her and Roland crashed into pieces beside him.

Regina's shocked for a moment, but recovers rather quickly, blinks her eyes repeatedly and rushes towards him. "Roland, sweetheart, are you okay?" she asks, grabbing his hand to look for any injures but the boy only pushes her away as more tears run down his cheeks. "What happened?" she asks, confused.

"You're not my mother," he spats and pushes her away from him, runs to the bathroom and shuts the door behind him.

Only then Regina looks down at the damned storybook laying on the floor and smiles sadly, tears filling her own eyes as she sees a picture of a man with a baby in his hands, a blue blanket and the castle behind them and realization hits her.

He's read their story.

Her heart breaks into million pieces, because he wasn't supposed to find out about it so soon, she was not ready to tell him yet, and she wasn't sure she would ever be, she and Robin even decided that it's better to never tell the truth in order to keep Roland from all this pain.

But you can't always get what you want, can you?

"Roland, let me explain," she starts, finding her voice, and stands up from the floor, walks towards the bathroom on shaky legs as tears run down her cheeks. Damn it, she should've listened to Robin and made that book disappear from their house.

There's no response from the other side of the door, so Regina gently bends the handle but the door doesn't open. It's locked, she realizes, and all of a sudden her heart is squeezed by indescribable pain. She's been there before with Henry, he was acting the same way when he found out she wasn't his mother and even though the situation is different now, but the pain is all the same.

"I want to see papa," A whisper snaps her out of her thoughts and Regina nods her head though Roland cannot see it, forces herself to stand up and get Robin.

When Robin rushes to his son, she falls down on the bed and sobs and sobs and sobs until she's too exhausted to even breathe.

(…)

"I'm sorry," Robin whispers, wrapping his arms around Regina's waist, "that I can't spend this Christmas with you," there's a small kiss placed on her neck, to soothe her, she thinks.

"It's okay, don't worry about me," she dismisses but her hands are around his neck now and she's pulling him into a kiss. "Wish a Merry Christmas to Roland from me," she asks when she pulls away and her voice breaks, tears filling her eyes, and she swallows hard before looking away.

Her heart clenches as memories of Roland leaving the house repeat in her head. He'd taken all his things and left with Robin because the boy insisted that he didn't want to be here anymore, he didn't want to see Regina ever again.

And it broke her heart, because her child hated her again, because their first Christmas was ruined, because she was left heartbroken again. But she's been strong then, waited until the house was empty and only then she let herself cry.

It's been already two long and lonely weeks of sleepless nights and cold bed (Robin had to be with Roland, there was no other way) and the pain is still the same, it still tears her apart every time she thinks about Roland.

"Regina," Robin says, bumping his nose against hers, making Regina look back at him. "It will be fine. Roland is a clever boy, he'll understand everything and forgive you eventually," he tells her and she only hums in response, rests her head against his chest, hoping that his words are going to be true.

(…)

"Mom, wake up!"

Regina groans when Henry shakes her and pulls the blanket over her head, trying to hide from him. He's always been excited for Christmas, enjoyed opening presents before the Sun was up and usually Regina didn't mind getting up so early.

But she spent the whole night crying, clutching a pillow to her chest as she thought about what she's done to Roland and how he's never going to forgive her. It was almost dawn when Regina finally calmed down and managed to fall into a restless sleep.

All she wants to do now is sleep, stay in this bed for the rest of the day, eat comfort food and watch silly Christmas movies with Henry.

But her son has other plans, it seems, because he's shaking her again.

"Come here," she tugs on his hand. "Let's just sleep in," she murmurs, burrowing her face into the pillow and sighing.

"There's a special present waiting for you in the living room," Henry says and Regina uncovers her head, cracks one eye open and finds him with a huge smile on his face.

"Henry," she forces herself to wake up, blinks her eyes repeatedly and sits up, crosses her arms over her chest and frowns. "I told you I don't need presents. I hate them."

"You'll love this one," he assures her and then he's dragging her out of the bed and what can Regina do?

She gets out of the bed but Henry doesn't give her time to make a quick trip to the bathroom to wash her face, she only has time to put her robe on and then she's dragged out of the room with a very happy Henry in front of her.

Regina doesn't understand what's gotten into him, she doesn't remember the last time he was acting like that but she doesn't have time to wonder because when they reach the stairs, she sees a coat on the chair and it's Robin's!

A frown forms on her face – he's supposed to be with Roland - and then they're down the stairs and now she can hear Robin's voice and a quieter one, a voice she knows too well. Her eyes go wide immediately and Henry must've sensed her reaction because he turns to her, smiles kindly and encourages her to go there.

Regina is hesitant, doesn't think it's a good idea, doesn't think Roland wants to see her, but then she inhales deeply, decides that she has nothing to lose and enters the living room.

Her heart starts beating like crazy as she looks at Roland, tears filling her eyes. Her mouth opens, and she wants to greet them but the words are stuck in her throat and it feels as if she's paralyzed by fear of rejection.

"Merry Christmas, love," Robin says warmly, and stands up rather slowly, walks up to her. She's still in shock, not knowing what to do, she doesn't even return the small kiss that Robin lands on her lips as he pulls her into a tight hug.

Robin smiles at her and then his hands are gone and he's walking out of the room, talking to Henry about something Regina cannot hear. All she can do is stare at Roland who sits there on her couch quietly, looking down at his hands.

She decides it's time to approach him, and so she does just that, walks to him and sits on the couch beside him but keeps her distance in case he doesn't want her close.

"Merry Christmas," she says sheepishly, and the boy finally looks up at her, their eyes locking for a moment but when he's looking at his hands again.

"Why did you give me away?" he asks a question that's been torturing him for days, his lower lip trembling and Regina cannot help but feel a little bit of relief – at least he's talking with her.

He's too young to know the real story, she thinks, but she doesn't dare to lie to him again, not after what'd happened, so she tells him the truth, or what could be considered the truth.

"I was a very awful person back then, Roland," she starts with a deep inhale. "I could've hurt you and I would've been an awful mother to you. You deserved something better. I gave you your best chance." When Roland doesn't say anything, she adds, "and you did get that chance because now you have your papa."

"Papa said that Snow White is my sister."

"It's a difficult story but yes, she is."

"Oh."

Silence surrounds them then and Regina tries to think of something to say, anything, just to speak, to make him open up and let it all out, to make things work between them because yes, many years ago she didn't want to keep him but now, oh, how much she regrets it.

"I won't call you 'mom'," Roland's quiet announcement snaps Regina out of her thoughts and she's nodding before she can even understand what he's just said. Gods, she would agree to anything if it meant that Roland would give her another chance. "And I will love Papa forever."

"Of course you will. I wouldn't want it any other way."

"Then I forgive you."

Regina feels relief she hasn't felt for years and all of sudden she's pulling him into a hug, holding him as close as possible and tears roll down both of their cheeks.

"I love you, Roland," she whispers and he doesn't return the sentiment, only hugs her tighter and it's enough. Right now she wouldn't wish anything more.

As Regina holds the boy in her arms, she thinks that Henry was right. It's definitely her favorite present, this second chance.

(...)

Thank you for reading 3


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